MeMyself &Pride
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Alḥamdu li ‘llāhi rabbi ‘l-ʿālamīn wa ‘l-ʿāqibatu li
‘l-muttaqīn
wa ‘l-ṣalātu wa ‘l-salāmu ʿalā
ashrafi ‘l-anbiyā’i wa ‘l-mursalīn
wa ʿalā ālihī wa aṣḥābihī wa
azwājihī wa ahli baytiḥi wa ummihī wa abīhi ajmaʿīn
ammā baʿd
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The topic of fakhr (boasting) and kibr (pride) is a sensitive one. Most, if not all of us, possess within us, and
so express on a daily basis, fakhr and
kibr; and although some of us are fortunate enough to recognise that we
have a problem, most of us face the misfortune of never realising that we are
actually quite sick from the inside. Fakr
and kibr have blackened our hearts
to such an extent that some even deem it religiously and socially acceptable to
boast and feel pride, even on some of the smallest of things, that really, are
worth nothing as the true worth of something is determined by knowing that it
is beneficial both in this world and most importantly in the, imminent,
hereafter.
This discourse
is divided into two parts. A small section discusses fakhr while the larger section shall discuss kibr from the perspective of takabbur.
Remember that both fakhr and takabbur have been disliked by Allāh and those who choose to behave in
such a manner have been reprimanded numerously in the Qur’ān. Let us begin then, keeping in
mind that the only Being worthy of such attributes is the Almighty Allāh. By His Mercy and Compassion do I
begin and ask Him for success in conveying to you this subject with as much humility
as possible, whilst relating to you His Magnificent Words and the Traditions of
His Beloved (upon him and his family salutations and peace).
˜ fakhr
™
Know that like kibr, fakhr is considered a social evil as well. One may not justify fakhr by saying, “I’m not stuck up, I’m just proud of being x, having y, and doing z.”
This is because none of what we are, what we have and what we do is by our
personal ability; in fact, we are able only because the All Able gave us the
opportunity and strength to do what it is that He willed for us to do in the
first place. If we were to do tadabbur
(ponder) over this point, albeit very basic, we could ultimately free ourselves
from future outbursts of fakhr.
However, as true as this is, it is essential that we also understand what fakhr is.
The word fakhr
means to boast and this act can be expressed in different
forms; whether by speech, for example: to be boastful about ones lineage or
ancestry – and this is quite common in the sub-continent, whereby people will
boast about being a Rājā, Rājpūt, Chaudhry,
Jutt, etc.; or by action, for example: by showing disgust towards someone by dismissing
them for the lack of finesse in their attire or even something as petty, like
having a weird haircut. Allāh announces His
distaste for fakhr in the Qur’ān [31:18], “Do
not avert your face from people out of superiority and do not strut about
arrogantly on the earth. Allāh does not love
anyone who is vain or boastful.” Today we see many a people do exactly this. Whether it is the girls
strutting their stuff or the boys showing off their swag, in both
situations you will find that their acts are entrenched in fakhr. What is even more important to note is that such people find
it socially acceptable to behave in such a way. Behaving this way is in no way
a new social phenomenon, historically the world has condoned such an attitude quite
incessantly but we must be keen to recreate and observe the social morality
found in the Prophetic Traditions as they not only protect us from fakhr but also those around us from its
evil effects. He, the Almighty, further says [31:19], “Be moderate in your
tread and lower your voice. The most hateful of voices is the donkey’s bray.” This
is all too familiar in men and women of today. Are we moderate in our tread? On
one hand we have the brothers bustin’ low
and on the other, we have the sisters click-clocking their heels even more
forcefully than usual down the pavement. There is wrong in both: being a man
does not give you the licence to walk around with your chinos down to your
knees, similarly, being a woman does not mean that you cause unnecessary
attention to yourself; all these things come under fakhr. Wearing beautiful and expensive clothes is permissible in
Islam, there is
nothing wrong with it, the issue is when you boast about them and wear them in
a way that sharīʿah (Islamic Law)
does not allow you to.
Another thing that
Allāh announces his
distaste for is the braying of the donkey. How do we relate this to our day and
age? Very easily in fact, as this habit of ‘braying’ is quite prevalent in some
of today’s youth: it could be a group of lads, a group of girls or a mixture of
both, what can be seen and heard sometimes is swaggered up youths begging for
attention with the amount of noise they make; terrorising people; scaring them;
swearing at them; cussing them, their mothers and fathers; making racial jokes;
poking fun at another religion; and all in the name of fun and to bring
attention to themselves. The interesting thing is that none of this kind of
behaviour is permitted in sharīʿah. Not because Islam is a totalitarian regime, rather that these
things are in themselves hurtful, evil and quite simply, socially unacceptable.
˜ kibr ™
The word kibr
means to be prideful. In Arabic kibr is also the root word that signifies growth in mass or age. Remember that kibr is
a trilateral root word and when it is taken into one of its derived forms, the
addition of letters also represents an addition in meaning. Sometimes the added
letters can be in the beginning and sometimes in the middle, and at times, both
the beginning and the middle. In this instance, the derived form of the trilateral
root word is tafaʿul, which means that kibr will
now be read as takabbur. This derived
form has six
possible meanings depending on the context it is used in – I found it quite
interesting that one can observe the literal growth in pride whilst using the
six variable meanings as stages; we will explore these six stages below – Now that we are analysing takabbur instead of kibr, know
that the
word takabbur can be explained as hubris which takes its origin
from Ancient Greek meaning extreme pride and arrogance; and it often leads to a
loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one's own competence or
capabilities. As such, one who
expresses takabbur will experience six various stages of kibr:
First: is tajannub – to abstain – at first when a person is introduced to the concept of
pride they are immediately put off by
it. This is understandable as pride is an ugly trait that no person of sound
moral standing will tolerate; second: is takalluf
– embarrassment or insincere modesty – through the waswasah al-Shayṭānī (satanic
whispering/evil influence), if a person falls victim to takabbur, at first they are embarrassed by it and if it has
progressed further they will try to conceal it by expressing insincere modesty;
third: is taʿammul – to put into general practice – whereby one
has now progressed into a state where they no longer are embarrassed by their
pride and begin to put this characteristic of theirs into general practice;
fourth: is tadrīj – to do it slowly – at this point, one will gradually build up their pride; fifth:
is ittikhādh – to make it your focus – this is when one progresses even further than before, by
intensifying their efforts and becoming obsessed with takabbur. They begin making it the focus of their personalities and
look for different ways by which they can epitomise this new, heightened sense
of pride; sixth: is taḥawwul – to become its reflection or its
example – this is the last level of extremity that one can reach and, by
far, the most dangerous. This is when one becomes one with takabbur either by reflecting it in most aspects of their daily life
or exemplifying it in the very essence of their being.
Thus when one
goes through the aforementioned stages, the sixth being most intense, then that
which Allāh has preserved
for those who show pride will increase in its intensity as well. The
repercussions one will face are not only other worldly but will be exempted
from His Wisdom that He has placed in this world as well. He, the Almighty says
in the Qur’ān [7:146], “I
will divert my signs from those who will show arrogance without right.” That
Allāh will keep the
knowledge of Himself, His book, His prophets and His signs hidden, is what Allāh shall reimburse for he or she who
is arrogant.
Pride is that
which prohibits one from entering into heaven. The blessed Prophet (upon him
and his family salutations and peace) said, “No one who has an atom’s
equivalent of Pride in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O
Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look
good?” He replied, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty, Pride means
rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”[1]
Further he once said, “There was a debate between heaven and hell. Hell
said, “I will have the arrogant and oppressors in me.” Heaven said, “I will
have the weak and poor in me.” Then Allāh decided between both of them, and said, “Heaven, you are My
Mercy. Whomever I shall be Merciful to shall be through you. And Hell, you are
My Punishment, whomever I punish shall be through you. And to fill both of you
is necessary upon Me.”[2]
Thus
we should protect ourselves from pride and arrogance as our end shall only end
in either heaven or either hell.
Why is Allāh so reprimanding of pride? It is
because it is an attribute of Allāh. One of Allāh’s names is al-Mutakabbir, meaning
the Proud. A ḥadīth al-Qudsī[3] explains this
further. The blessed Prophet (upon him and his family salutations and peace)
narrates Allāh as saying, “Glory
is My loincloth and pride is My cloak. He who contends with Me in regard to
them, I will torment him.”[4]
Thus one who expresses kibr or fakhr is indeed contending
with Allāh; contending
with Him is an act of polytheism, and as we know, polytheism is such a sin that
one may commit and Allāh shall never
forgive in the hereafter.
There are
different forms of kibr and
may either be displayed by one person at once, especially if one is at an
advanced stage, or can be displayed separately:
Firstly: arrogance displayed by deeming oneself
superior than others;
Secondly: arrogance displayed by showing disrespect to
others;
Thirdly: arrogance displayed by boasting of one’s
lineage;
Fourthly: arrogance displayed due to one’s beauty;
Fifthly: arrogance displayed due to one’s wealth;
Sixthly: arrogance displayed due to one’s
strength;
Seventhly: arrogance displayed due to having a lot of
something; and
Eighthly: arrogance displayed for having knowledge.
These are most
if not all of the forms of arrogance that one may express either knowingly or
unknowingly. Considering what Allāh and His
beloved (upon him and his family salutations and peace) have said, it is
incumbent upon us to make a conscious effort to remove kibr and fakhr
from within us, whilst remembering that either the keeping or removing
shall not benefit anyone but ourselves as Allāh need not our humility and humbleness nor our pride and arrogance.
Signs of a
Person Having Pride/Arrogance:
û
Dislike of
others to have what you have;
û
Cannot avoid
anger;
û
Cannot avoid
being jealous of others;
û
Does not accept
advice from others;
û
Does not want
to listen or accept advice from a learned person or even attend lessons;
û
Putting people
down when advising them;
û
Continuously
uttering good remarks of one’s self when speaking;
û
Speaking with
pride to demonstrate knowledge;
û
Dealing with
people in an ill manner and walking in an ill manner; and
û
Looking down at
people due to wealth or better appearance.
How do we
rectify kibr? Giving heed to who we are and what the meaning of our
creation is; Allāh says [76:2], “We
created man from a mingled drop to test him, and We made him hearing and
seeing.” He further says [80:17-19], “Curse man for his ingratitude!
From what thing did He create him? From a drop of sperm He created him and
proportioned him.” These are reminders that we have been given in the Qur’ān that should humble us and
remind us of our meagre existences.
In closing, not that Ibn ʿAṭā’illāh
said, “If you are aware of your humility, then you are arrogant.” Scholars
say, “If you are not like the real people, at least mimic them.” As is
it better to simulate humility than to act arrogantly; Imām al-Ghazālī said, “If
one wishes to master calligraphy, then he must go to a master calligrapher and
repeat what he does.” And for us,
the greatest calligrapher is the blessed Prophet (upon him and his family
salutations and peace). It is his perfect life that we must attempt to emulate
as well as his family’s and his companions’ (Allāh is pleased with all of
them). Let us use this pathway to Allāh and gain His closeness once
again, for Allāh’s Mercy outreaches His Wrath and so long as we are certain
about our thoughts, sincere in our intentions and show perseverance in our
actions, Allāh has promised to bathe us in His Mercy. May He grant us the
ability to do as such, āmīn.
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Aqūlu qawlī hādhā wa ‘staghfirullāha lī wa lakum
wa li sā’iri ‘l-mu’minīna wa ‘l-mu’mināt
Innahū huwa ‘l-ghafūru ‘raḥīm
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“All the doors to Allāh are crowded except for one: the door of humility and humbleness.”
~ Shaykh ʿAbd al-Qādir al-Jīlānī
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An excellent analysis of the nature of man (and the human condition that afflicts the majority of people in curent times).
ReplyDeleteA critically important lesson for us all- that we check and rectify our character before we are brought to account.